The current era is witnessing a yawning communication gap between parents and children in general. In fact, with each passing year, this gap is increasing mainly because of the wrong attitude adopted by the parents. In this regard, parents need to first analyze their own mistakes that have led to this communication gap with the new generation. Remedial measures must begin with them. Some of the reasons which have led to this gap for which we parents are to blame are as follows.
1. Today we are witnessing a global culture in which one value reigns supreme: freedom and liberty in every sphere of life. It is the zeitgeist of current times. The greatest effect of this is that the new generation feels more empowered and more independent at an earlier age in their childhood than we did. More often than not
2. In spite of some improvement, parents still impose their views on their children without realizing that when they become adults, parents should not force them to accept their views. Two very prominent areas in this regard (discussed ahead separately) are the selection of careers and spouses for their children. Parents think that their children are bound by their religion to obey them in these spheres as well.
This, it may be humbly submitted, is incorrect. Islam in no way condones this. It is perhaps the feudal and patriarchal culture of third-world Muslim countries which
3. The extent of QUALITY time that parents should give to the younger generation has been drastically reduced. It is understandable where one or both parents work to make ends meet. But there are parents who have all the time in the world for their own priorities but very little for their children. Even in the case of the former, efforts must still be made to synthesize this time as much as possible.
6. The best way to earn respect of the children is to follow a life based on ethical and moral principles in which one does not waver. Parents should first present an example of what they want their children to become. This is perhaps the most difficult of tasks, but then what right have we do demand from our children what we ourselves do not adhere to?
4. Parents should realize that teaching religious directives in the current global culture must be based on sound reasoning (which most parents are unfortunately not equipped with). For example, young adults generally ask: Why should I fast? Is it not like depriving our body of essential energy that I need for my studies? Why should I believe in God when there is so much oppression and injustice in this world? Why are Muslims so blood thirsty and militant-minded? Why are Muslim men allowed to marry four wives while women are not? What is wrong with dating and sleep-overs? The list is unending. Parents must know the answers to these questions. And not just answers: convincing answers!
5. Parents must develop friendship with their children by talking to them in their areas of interest. For example, if our son is interested in football and we do not know the ABC of football, how about educating ourselves on this sport? If our daughter wants to learn the guitar, how about finding out more about the top guitarists in the business and exchanging views with her. This friendship is extremely important for bonding. The other important role it plays is that parents can gradually find themselves in a position to point out and correct mistakes of their children. They won’t mind accepting criticism from a friend.